
I grew up at a time when many men wondered if wearing nice clothing or cleaning the dirt out from underneath their fingernails meant they were gay. I’m only kind of sort of joking. Here’s The Economist’s business section describing a novel marketing approach back in 2003:
“When David Beckham ties back his hair or wraps himself in a sarong, or his wife says he wears her thongs, he sends a powerful message to a new kind of male, according to Marian Salzman of Euro RSCG Worldwide, a leading advertising agency. This new target market is ‘metrosexual’, a term coined a few years ago to identify straight urban men who enjoy such things as shopping and using beauty products. It is sometimes described in lad mags as being ‘just gay enough’ to get the babes.”
I recall reading this article all these years later because it was the first time I had consciously considered masculinity as a flexible concept. Armed with this new knowledge, what did I do? I promptly called my dad a metrosexual for wearing skinny pants and tailored shirts. Clearly, I didn’t think too deeply about it. (My mom reminds me that I also bought dad a book on the subject for his birthday)
But my generation was a pivot point. As an elder Millennial, I grew up in a world where traditional families and gender norms were the ideal, but also fast becoming antiquated. Many of us would subconsciously absorb traditional masculine ideals, while also seeing women as equals and homosexuality as part of society’s fabric.
We lived in households where men were still the bread winners, but women also went to work and single mothers were becoming more common. The protagonists of our movies were mostly strong silent types. At the same time, Will and Grace and other television shows were normalizing alternative lifestyles. Sex was hidden behind warning labels until it was suddenly available at the click of a mouse. We would enter the workforce and answer to female bosses, and marry women who not only refused to wait at the door with an after work cocktail but insisted we change diapers.
I tell you this to contextualize what follows. I would keep every one of these thoughts to myself if it weren’t for the MAGA Manosphere’s attack on women’s rights and attempts to erase anyone who isn’t straight. As far as I’m concerned, they asked for it.
For the uninitiated, the Manosphere is a loose community of online lifestyle influencers who promote a mix of “traditional” masculinity and right-wing politics. They are closely aligned with President Trump and range from the archetypical “bro,” who mindlessly bullshits on podcasts about sports and entertainment, to truly insidious personalities like Andrew Tate.
If you don’t know about Andrew Tate, you should. Young men are watching him. He has over 10 million social medial followers and is one of the most popular figures on TikTok with his videos garnering billions of views. Here’s The Guardian describing Mr. Tate’s world view:
“Andrew Tate says women belong in the home, can’t drive, and are a man’s property. He also thinks rape victims must ‘bear responsibility’ for their attacks and dates women aged 18–19 because he can ‘make an imprint’ on them, according to videos posted online. In other clips, the British-American kickboxer – who poses with fast cars, guns and portrays himself as a cigar-smoking playboy – talks about hitting and choking women, trashing their belongings and stopping them from going out.”
He and his equally problematic brother are wanted in the United Kingdom and Romania for rape and sex trafficking. The brothers were stuck in Romania while awaiting trial. That is, until Trump Administration officials, reportedly, pressured Romanian authorities to return the brothers’ passports. Shortly thereafter, the Tates arrived Fort Lauderdale, Florida and sent President Trump a thank you note:
The obvious thing to do would be deconstruct the blatant misogyny. But that’s so very obvious it shouldn’t need to be done. And, frankly, everything about these influencers seems, well, a little, how do I put this delicately…metrosexual?
Thankfully, I’m able to invoke former Secretary of Transportation and progressive gay man Pete Buttigieg to help argue my point. Here he is a few years ago discussing a bizarre anti-trans political ad from Florida Republican Governor Ron DeSantis:
“I’m going to leave aside the strangeness of trying to prove your manhood by putting up a video that splices images of you in between oiled up shirtless bodybuilders, and just get to the bigger issue…”
My thoughts exactly, Pete.
Take the recent breakup between President Trump and Elon Musk. The MAGA Manosphere reflected this childish quarrel between the richest man in the world and the most powerful through a men are from Mars, women are from Venus lens. Here’s MAGA influencer Jack Prosbiec for a taste of what I’m talking about:

When I first saw this post, I immediately fixated on a new vocabulary word: phallocentric. The word nerds out there probably already picked up on this, but the term derives its etymology from “phallo,” which is rooted in the Greek word “phallos,” referring to the male genitalia, particularly the penis, and “centrism,” signifying a focus or concentration around a central point.
Apparently, this is connected to the ideology of phallocentrism where the penis is the central organizing element of society. As best I understand the history, some French guy who hung out with Sigmund Freud came up with this. Regardless, back in my day (I love that I’m old enough to say that now), straight men used a certain word to describe someone fixated on phalluses…
Moving right along to exhibit number two. Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth posted the following picture of himself to the internet:

What was your immediate, lizard brain reaction to the above? If you thought this is what masculinity looks like, you and I live in a different universe. Back in my day, straight men used a certain word to describe someone who wore their underwear in public and handed out shirtless photos of themselves to strangers…
Next up, the below add from CNN’s website. It’s just a group of shirtless dudes with waxed chests hanging out, an American flag flying overhead and the White House in the background.

On a more serious note, the masculinity being promoted is an adolescent form. It’s muscles, fighting, and domination. It’s women as subhuman sexual objects. Maybe this is my Low T talking, but this definition should seem ridiculous to any man over the age of 30.
These influencers and politicians glorify the phase of a man’s life where he is competing for status and mates, trying to carve a place for himself in the world. It’s when he is most willing to take risks and the least attuned to his community. It’s the phase when a man might rush to join the army, but not the one where he pays bills, works a steady job, does a load of laundry, and drives his children to little league games. Likewise, it’s certainly not the time when he slows down and watches grandchildren or plants a garden.
There are seasons to all our lives. Each brings its joys and challenges, but it used to be understood that the adolescent season was one you grew out of. Now, not so much.
I think men who know better need to push back. Here’s my call to action: start shunning grown men who engage in adolescent behavior.
We shouldn’t resurrect the gay slurs, which is why I propose we take a page from the marketers’ playbook and coin a new term: MAGAsexual. The word is a blend of “MAGA” and “heterosexuality.” It describes a man who is meticulous in his grooming and personal appearance, cannot compete with women or minorities based on merit, lacks compassion for others, and doesn’t understand he needs to grow up and take responsibility for himself.
Low T Blake
PS — To keep this post digestible morsel length, I forewent a discussion of conservative men getting plastic surgery to enhance their jaw lines and growing beards to prove themselves alpha males. Frankly, as a member of the bearded community, I’m annoyed that GQ deemed beards MAGA fashion symbols. Everyone knows men grow beards not to show dominance, but to hide their double chins. Get it straight!
PPS — While researching Andrew Tate, I discovered his online academy Hustler’s University. Its school motto is “Escape the Matrix.” For the low low price of $100 a month, your educational experience will NOT include “traditional education, theoretical lectures, and teacher-centered classes.” That quote is the top selling point on the website. Facepalm emoji.
Well said! MAGAsexuals are the poster guys for arrested development.
Nice work!
Ever consider Ammosexual or is that best used for the Militia types?
Reminds me of a piece I did recently, though mine’s an acronym of sorts:
https://open.substack.com/pub/noelkeith/p/tranquil-piece-of-mind-vol-3-no-6?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web